Yule Incense

When the Black Hat Society came over to my place for a Yule celebration, we made a Yule incense together. I had diligently looked up recipes for Yule, and had a pretty solid recipe (made up of 9 ingredients, as per the Risting Tradition). However, when I opened the choosing of herbs to the members, they all had something different in mind.

I went with it.

Even though I burned the Yule incense we made that day while I decorated my Christmas tree, I felt I needed more. Well, not more as in quantity; more as in a blend that contained exactly what I wanted and thought should be in it. So I made up another one.

Yule Incense

Base: White Oak Bark for luck
Life: Frankincense, for spiritual growth and to represent the birth of Christ
Death: Mistletoe, to banish evil
Birth: Cedar, for money
Repose: Blessed Thistle, a sacred herb and used to call in spiritual help in my home.
Awaken: Cloves, riches
Shield: Rosemary, for protection
Blending: Peppermint, for purification (and the fact that Peppermint pretty much goes with everything).
Focus: Sage, for wishes and focus of intent.

I burned some of the incense on "Mini Yule," a day marked on one of my mailing lists. Did I notice a difference between the BHS incense and my own? I did. It was subtle, but I think the difference didn't lie entirely with the ingredient mix; I think it was borne from the fact that I made it on my own, therefore there it had a different energy and intent.

All for one...

When I found out I was laid off, I realized that I shouldn't be using what little money I have in my bank account go for class when it should instead be going for food and rent and heat. So, I told my instructor that I would probably have to stop going to class, but would rejoin the class as soon as I got another job.

My coven-mates found out that I was laid off and was going to axe Thursday night class, so they huddled together and decided to pay my way until I find a job. I was - and am - touched.

But receiving charity is sort of a hard thing to deal with as well. In some ways, I don't feel worthy. In others, I feel like I am taking advantage. And yet, as my brother and sisters in the Tradition, this is what they feel they need to do for me - for us - so that we will continue to grow together.

I know I should just stop feeling weird and accept the gift of the classes. If the shoe was on the other foot, I know I would do the same for them. However, as the shoe is currently on this foot, it feels as if it doesn't quite fit right. I guess I need to just ignore it and keep on walking...this is just a lesson I have to learn: acceptance.

It turns out acceptance is more difficult that I expected it would be.

Druish

Tonight before class began, one of the owners of the store said she had a funny story about a couple who came in earlier. When the girls asked if they could help the couple find anything, the man said "Yes, we are looking for books on Wick."

"Wick? Are you sure?"

"Yes," replied the man. "Wick."

"Perhaps you mean Wicca? Or maybe witch?"

"No...Wick. My wife, she's Druish and wants a book on Wick."

"That's funny," muttered another customer standing by. "She doesn't look Druish."

We had a good laugh at the couples' expense and decided that maybe it was time to design a Druish tradition. I'm sure it would involve lots of magical latkes and eight days of candle magic in December. As long as I could still wear a Yarmulke in a skyclad ritual, I suppose I'd be happy.

It's Official

I am part of a coven. I don't know if I like the word "coven," because it seems to have such awful connotations, thanks to the media. However, despite the word itself, it's wonderful to be part of a group of like-minded people.

Last night we celebrated Samhain together. We started with a dinner to honor our pets, both living and deceased. Then we moved away from the table and began the second part of our ritual. We crafted "wish bottles" which will be opened on Mabon of next year. We each did our own, and then we crafted a group bottle. It was during the crafting of the group bottle that we discussed making it official. It turns out we all sort of all ready thought of ourselves as a coven.

After the issue of "are we or are we not a coven" was put to rest, I led a guided meditation so the rest of the group could visit with their ancestors. I think it turned out quite well. The trick, though, I quickly discovered was knowing when to be silent to give the participants a chance to commune with their ancestors and when to move on.

At first, I wasn't sure how to know, but as I recited the meditation, I tuned in to the group. It was an odd experience for me, as I am normally not so in tune with so many people at one time. During the silences, I found I could tune into people and just know if they were still communing or if their conversations had come to an end.

I have never celebrated Samhain before - alone or in a group. I've wanted to...but just never really did. Last year I did perform a small banishing and blessing ceremony at home, however I wouldn't really call that celebrating. It was more of a brief acknowledgment that yes, it's Samhain and the Wheel has turned yet again.

Before closing the circle last night, we decided to meet each month for the full moon. I'm glad we picked the full moon...it's the one phase of the moon that I've always had a great affinity for.

After choosing the date for our next meeting, J opened the wards, and all of a sudden I felt vulnerable and unsafe. K stated that she saw a werewolf run past the house, and then I was scared to go out to my car. Thank goodness for C and J, for they walked us out and I felt less scared because of the company.

I arrived home safe and sound and happy...I believe it's going to be a very good year.

Left Out

Right now, our Thursday night class has one instructor and seven classmates. The instructor and two of our classmates are in a coven together. They often talk about some of the things they've done together, never seeming to be aware that the rest of us might feel left out.

At this week's class, J stated that five of us met to celebrate the full moon. One classmate was visibly upset, and stated she felt left out. JurNee said it wasn't meant to be exclusionary; that they were part of a coven and we fully expected that as such, they would have celebrated the full moon together. It turns out (supposedly) that they haven't met in ages.

After class, a few of us discussed whether or not we should invite them to the next ritual. J immediately said that he didn't think so; that he really liked our energy as a whole, and felt that the new mix would change that. Unfortunately, I wasn't there to put in my two cents worth of drivel, however it does appear that we will continue to meet as five for now, as it's not our fault that their coven isn't meeting regularly.

Additionally, our instructor stated at the onset that one of the main functions of class was to practice magic with others, in hopes that we would form our own covens. So, if that was one of the main objectives, then why are they miffed that they weren't included in our works? After all, we've never been invited to be part of theirs. We're supposed to be okay with that... and I think we are. Funny, though, how us "lesser" witches are then supposed to be sure to include everyone in class in our own rituals.

It's weird how high school dynamics invade our life, even at this stage in our walk.

Full Moon

On Saturday, five of us from the journey-level Risting class met to celebrate the full moon. This was our first time meeting together to create magic together.

We met at C & J's home in Northwest Reno. It was such a lovely home...rich in color, homey and cozy inside. I felt instantly at home (after being served a glass of wine!), and settled in for some talk before K arrived.

We are all so diverse, and yet we share a strong, common ground. With the exception of K, young and vibrant, we all came to this path later in life. Some of us are still hiding it from our families. Some of us don't. And some of us just share what is relevant, and keep the rest for ourselves.

When darkness came, we went outside to C & J's magical garden. Thankfully, C had written out a ritual for us to perform together. We took bits from class (passing fire, water and salt) and incorporated bits from books in order to call in the directions, and to perform a few other elements we hadn't learned in class.

When the circle was cast and the wards put up, the ritual began. It was so nice and peaceful. The best part was when J lead us on a meditative journey. After our journeys, we shared our tales and then partook of cakes and ale (Squaw bread and wine) before the ants decided to dine on our feet.

We left shortly after closing the circle, as C & J normally hit the sheets at 9 p.m. Yet, even though I left their place on Saturday, I felt them with me all week long, as well as the magic of the ceremony.

We have decided to celebrate together more often, and so next on our schedule is Mabon. This time JurNee and myself will be putting the ritual together. The prospect of doing so is both scary and exciting...I'm a wallflower, so helping to direct the next ritual will force me onto the dance floor. Hopefully I won't pull an Elaine Bennis while I'm out there.