Thursday, December 18, 2008

All for one...

When I found out I was laid off, I realized that I shouldn't be using what little money I have in my bank account go for class when it should instead be going for food and rent and heat. So, I told my instructor that I would probably have to stop going to class, but would rejoin the class as soon as I got another job.

My coven-mates found out that I was laid off and was going to axe Thursday night class, so they huddled together and decided to pay my way until I find a job. I was - and am - touched.

But receiving charity is sort of a hard thing to deal with as well. In some ways, I don't feel worthy. In others, I feel like I am taking advantage. And yet, as my brother and sisters in the Tradition, this is what they feel they need to do for me - for us - so that we will continue to grow together.

I know I should just stop feeling weird and accept the gift of the classes. If the shoe was on the other foot, I know I would do the same for them. However, as the shoe is currently on this foot, it feels as if it doesn't quite fit right. I guess I need to just ignore it and keep on walking...this is just a lesson I have to learn: acceptance.

It turns out acceptance is more difficult that I expected it would be.

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