Beltane

May Day. Beltane. Beltaine. However you say it, it's here.

I celebrated by leaving some flowers on my neighbor's porch, anonymously. And I made up vases of flowers to bring in to my co-workers.

I could be celebrating with my coven tonight as well, but won't be. I'm sick. Sniffling. Sneezing. Coughing. That kind of sick.

I was wondering, though, if I had not been sick, would I have gone to the celebration? Or would I have come up with an excuse?

I'm not sure.

I do know that I've been questioning my coven membership.

I'm an introvert - I expected I would be a solitary practitioner. As it happened, though, I connected with some others in my age group who follow the tradition I belong to. We formed a small coven, and made a commitment to meet for every full moon and Sabbat.

For the last few months, we haven't kept that commitment. Life has gotten in the way. One woman feels a need to support her husband in his lodge endeavors. Another member had an extreme health challenge. One member is young, and often has prior commitments with boyfriends or friends or the other things that come with being young and having a full social calendar.

When I look at each member, I feel love for them. And admiration. They have places in my heart, that is for sure. When I look at the coven as an entity, though, I sigh.

I suppose I'm disappointment that we haven't kept our commitment - although of course, Life does get in the way. The health challenge for the one member is real. The need of the other coven member to support her husband is real. These are understandable interferences. Still... they perturb me.

I hate admitting that - but there you have it.

I received an email on Monday asking me if I could host Beltaine tonight. One day's notice. It felt like a test. It might not have been - yet it felt like it. "Will she host?" The answer is no.

My garden (the place they asked me to host the celebration at) is a mess. The chairs are still covered. There are leaves and debris (seed hulls, leaves, fallen blossoms) everywhere. The fire pit isn't put together.

I could have moved it into the house, but my toilet is leaking. And inevitably, someone will need to use the bathroom.

It just wasn't the right time for me to host.

I failed the test.

Someone stepped in for a "short" ceremony. Another health challenge for someone else makes it important to have a short ceremony. Short can be good - I'm not complaining about that.

But... I'm sick. And I don't want to make anyone else sick.

Yet... I'm also thankful I'm sick. I have a real excuse not to go.

I'm not sure why I feel so much resistance lately. I think it's because two of the members have admitted to talking about me behind my back. Oh of course it's in my best interest. Still, it leaves me feeling unsettled and uncertain.

Why do they have to talk about me? Am I doing something wrong? Are they unhappy with me? Concerned about me? Or for me? My paranoia kicks in and adds to my resistance.

Also... I'm not pagan. It doesn't feel natural for me to celebrate the Sabbats. Full moons speak to my witchy side. The equinoxes speak to my witchy side as well. But the others? I hate to say it, but I'm not interested.

I feel as if I should be - but I'm not. I don't get a thrill knowing it's Beltane. I don't get excited about celebrating Imbolc or Ostara or Mabon. Halloween and Yule excite me - but only because they're so closely tied to the holidays I celebrated as a child.

I don't know what all this means for the future. Will I bow out of the coven? Will I stay?

Today, I don't have an answer. I do know that I need to think about this and really get to the heart of the matter. Until then, I wish you a Happy Beltaine.

Spring is here. Blessed be!

Cold as Ice

Often, people turn to me for advice on how to get someone off their back - be it a co-worker, a family member, a vampiric friend. "He constantly irritates me," or "She gossips about me to everyone." They're hoping I can cast some sort of spell or give them some potion that will magically make this person disappear from their life.

This is where KISS comes in (Keep it Simple, Student). In most cases, the simplest solutions are the most effective. And in these sorts of cases, the simple solution I've come to rely on is putting someone on ice.

I've done it to several people throughout the years - from co-workers to frenemies. And it has proven to be effective time and time again. The process "freezes" that person's actions so they don't touch you. How does it work? This easily:

The Icelandic Hold
Needed:
A picture of the person
-or-
Their name written on a piece of paper
One baggie
Water

Instructions:
Take the picture of the person OR their name written on a piece of paper (as always, the picture is more powerful, but if you don't have one, the paper will do), and put it into a baggie. Fill the baggie with water (not too full!), place in the freezer and Voila! No more pain in the ass.

You can craft an incantation to go along with it, you can add stuff to the baggie if you want - whatever you intuitively feel will enhance the spell be sure to add.

As the water freezes to ice, that person's ability to touch you is frozen as well.

Disposal:
Should the time come when you need to dispose of the baggie, there are several ways you can do it. You can simply dump it into the trash on trash day, so it's taken far away from your house. Or you can dispose of the baggie, and dump the ice packet into flowing water (a river) and watch it go far away from you.

As for how long you need to keep them on ice, that's up to you. I've had some people in my freezer for years. Others for months.

It's always better to be safe than sorry... so don't be quick about taking that person out!

Happy 2012

For the last few years, I've done several solitary rituals at home on New Year's Eve - rituals to get rid of the old and bring in the new.

This year was different - I felt that I needed to get back to the basics. To keep it simple. And so I did.

I began by simply cleaning the house. I dusted, vacuumed and shampooed the carpets. I put away all the Christmas decorations. I washed my dirty laundry. I swept and mopped and wiped things down. By about 11 p.m., I was done.

I had some champagne, and wondered if I should do something more with my extra time - perhaps I should do a ritual after all? The answer was no - my intuition told me I was done for the night.

When I got up in the morning, I saged the house, then used a besom to sweep out any remaining karmic residue. After that, I opened up the windows and let 2012 into the house.

Then I sat down, and sent thank you cards to those who had been special to me in 2011, wishing them happy new year. I celebrated with more champagne - and again wondered if I should do something else. A little candle magic perhaps? A wish list? Resolution setting?

Again the answer was no. "Keep it simple" was the unspoken response - and so I did.

Two days later, I feel light. Complete. The way I rung in 2012 was the right way for me to do it. But why no magic?

Ahhh... that's my mistake: thinking that a spiritual cleaning isn't magic. Because it is. Sometimes as witches we forget the simple things - the basics.

You see, magic needn't be complicated to work. We don't always have to call in the Gods and Goddesses, light the candles, ward the area, and use a bunch of tools.

Magic works best when one listens to the Universe - ask what needs to be done, and listen to the response. This year I did - and was surprised with the response. I heeded it anyway - and already see some of the results.

Happy casting in 2012!