Dead Man Flirting

Graveyard dirt. Believe it or not, it's a key ingredient in many spells. Unfortunately, graveyard dirt isn't easy to come by. You can purchase it in stores, but who knows if it really came from a graveyard? And, if you've been to a cemetery recently, you know that most graves are covered with grass, so digging up dirt would be a desecration of sorts.

Another little known fact: to be used effectively, graveyard dirt must be obtained ethically. That is, with full consent of the deceased. It helps to aid the Goddess Oya in this endeavor - and there is a way to do that as well.

I've had need for graveyard dirt on several occasions recently. I decided it was time to do a little research so I could stock my cabinet with this much needed and hard-to-come-by resource.

I thought of the perfect graveyard, in my hometown of Fremont. There is a little cemetery not far from Ohlone College. When I was a kid, we often walked our dog there, and spent time honoring those long since gone. Some of the graves date back to the early 1800's, and we assumed there were no family members left to visit. So, we'd visit instead.

This weekend was the perfect time. I helped my dad at the flea market (conveniently held at Ohlone), and after I was able to excuse myself, I went to CVS to get the last needed requirement: wine. See, Oya likes her gift of nine pennies to be doused in wine - specifically, red wine (that's my kind of Goddess!). I grabbed a four-pack of Merlot, checked out, and drove back to the cemetery.

At the entrance, I called to Oya. I let her know I had pennies and wine for her and asked to to allow me entrance. Before I could finish, I swear I heard Oya say "What are you waiting for! Give me my pennies." So, I did. Then I left the wine at the foot of the stairs. I heard her say, "Don't cap the wine!" I made sure to keep it open, because I certainly did not want to piss her off.

The next step was to talk to the spirits. I let them know why I was there, and told them a bit about my history and what I planned to do with the graveyard dirt. This is the part that can literally take hours. I was hoping it wouldn't, as I had to get back to my parents' house to check on my mom.

I walked around, and visited graves. I spent a lot of time with those who were veterans, hoping that our mutual connection of service would grant me permission. I sensed that a former Corporal in the Army wanted to grant me permission, but his wife did not want him to. I walked around some more. Some clearly told me to move on. Others were eerily silent.

I saw one grave that someone had clearly been at recently, and not in a good way. I talked to the pair (sisters, it looked like), and apologized for the state someone left their graves in. I looked around for a garbage can so I could clean up, but none was found. I moved on.

I visited grave after grave. I talked to many, and didn't make much of a connection. Finally, I asked Oya for help. "Oya! I'm having trouble locating a helpful spirit here. Is there somewhere I should be looking at specifically?" Oya answered me with the help of a squirrel. I saw him poised at the edge of a gravestone, and then he ran. I wasn't sure which grave to check out, the one he started at or the one he ended at. I decided to check them all out.

I talked to all those spirits in the immediate vicinity of the squirrel sighting. The only one who engaged with me was one Richard "Dick" Valencia. He died in 1999, at the age of 74. His wife had not yet joined him, but her name was already engraved on the headstone next to his.

I told him what type of spells I wanted to use the graveyard dirt in: Protection, Love and Banishment spells. He said "I can help you with protection and maybe banishment. But, girlie, I can help you more with sex than I can with love." He was joking with me - and I so did not expect that. We "conversed" for awhile, and he continually flirted with me. I asked him if his wife would mind if I took dirt from his grave, and he said "Who cares? I want you to have it." So, I took two handfuls of dirt and left him nine dimes in return.

After leaving the nine dimes, he was delighted. He said, "Take more dirt!" I told him I'd only feel comfortable taking another handful, and that's what I took. He told me he liked my red hair. I thanked him. We talked for a few more minutes, but since I had the dirt and had left the dimes, it was time for me to go. Before I left, I kissed his gravestone. I swear I felt him blush.

He escorted me part of the way out. When I felt he was no longer with me, I said good-bye and thank you to Oya, and left. I knew, though, when I got home I'd have to check the Internet to see if I could find out any information about him.

Tonight I checked, and I found him easily. It turns out his nickname was "Muscles" and he was apparently really well liked. I could tell that, though, from his spirit. He headed "The Big Dick Golf Tournament" in the Bay Area, and was an avid sportsman, hence his ability to readily admit the dirt from his grave could aid with protection. And, I do imagine that his sportsman-like physique probably did make him a big hit with the ladies, so perhaps he wasn't joking when he said he could help me with sex magic.

Either way, as read about him on the 'Net, I felt him next to me again. He didn't say anything, though, he just seemed to delight in reading his obituary. Plus, he seemed to just enjoy my company.

It's kind of sad that the only guy enjoying my company this weekend is a dead man, but I'll tell you, I'll take what I can get. After all, a compliment is a compliment, no matter who it comes from.

Thank you, Muscles. It was nice talking to you.

To Bind from Harm

Thee I bid
Thee I bind
And thee I bend unto my mind

Candle Magic

Candle magic is my preferred method of spellwork. I've had more success with magic when I use candles than with any other type of tools. I'm not quite sure why that is - perhaps because of my Christian background. As candles are used in all sorts of religions for all sorts of purposes, the use of candles as a spiritual tool is not foreign to me.

This week, I discovered a book I bought ages ago stuffed in a box labeled simply "Magic books." That book is Practical Candleburning Rituals: Spells and Rituals for Every Purpose by Raymond Buckland.

Buckland's book outlines several different spells, and each has a Christian method of performance along with a Pagan-method of performance. This appealed to my Christian senses - candle magic for Christians? Why the hell not?

I picked out a spell to perform, and actually ended up choosing the Pagan method of application. The aspect I like best about the spell is that it is not finished in a day. I will have to continue to reignite this spell over a course of time. This appeals to me as the end result is something that would naturally take some time to happen - it's not anything I would expect to happen overnight. In this aspect, it makes sense to me that the spell to cause the end result would also need time and attention.

And you know, maybe that's why candle magic and I get along so well - I understand the energy of candles and I love the ritual of candle work. Candles have always represented magic and spirituality to me. No wonder it works for me.

Yule Incense

When the Black Hat Society came over to my place for a Yule celebration, we made a Yule incense together. I had diligently looked up recipes for Yule, and had a pretty solid recipe (made up of 9 ingredients, as per the Risting Tradition). However, when I opened the choosing of herbs to the members, they all had something different in mind.

I went with it.

Even though I burned the Yule incense we made that day while I decorated my Christmas tree, I felt I needed more. Well, not more as in quantity; more as in a blend that contained exactly what I wanted and thought should be in it. So I made up another one.

Yule Incense

Base: White Oak Bark for luck
Life: Frankincense, for spiritual growth and to represent the birth of Christ
Death: Mistletoe, to banish evil
Birth: Cedar, for money
Repose: Blessed Thistle, a sacred herb and used to call in spiritual help in my home.
Awaken: Cloves, riches
Shield: Rosemary, for protection
Blending: Peppermint, for purification (and the fact that Peppermint pretty much goes with everything).
Focus: Sage, for wishes and focus of intent.

I burned some of the incense on "Mini Yule," a day marked on one of my mailing lists. Did I notice a difference between the BHS incense and my own? I did. It was subtle, but I think the difference didn't lie entirely with the ingredient mix; I think it was borne from the fact that I made it on my own, therefore there it had a different energy and intent.

All for one...

When I found out I was laid off, I realized that I shouldn't be using what little money I have in my bank account go for class when it should instead be going for food and rent and heat. So, I told my instructor that I would probably have to stop going to class, but would rejoin the class as soon as I got another job.

My coven-mates found out that I was laid off and was going to axe Thursday night class, so they huddled together and decided to pay my way until I find a job. I was - and am - touched.

But receiving charity is sort of a hard thing to deal with as well. In some ways, I don't feel worthy. In others, I feel like I am taking advantage. And yet, as my brother and sisters in the Tradition, this is what they feel they need to do for me - for us - so that we will continue to grow together.

I know I should just stop feeling weird and accept the gift of the classes. If the shoe was on the other foot, I know I would do the same for them. However, as the shoe is currently on this foot, it feels as if it doesn't quite fit right. I guess I need to just ignore it and keep on walking...this is just a lesson I have to learn: acceptance.

It turns out acceptance is more difficult that I expected it would be.

Druish

Tonight before class began, one of the owners of the store said she had a funny story about a couple who came in earlier. When the girls asked if they could help the couple find anything, the man said "Yes, we are looking for books on Wick."

"Wick? Are you sure?"

"Yes," replied the man. "Wick."

"Perhaps you mean Wicca? Or maybe witch?"

"No...Wick. My wife, she's Druish and wants a book on Wick."

"That's funny," muttered another customer standing by. "She doesn't look Druish."

We had a good laugh at the couples' expense and decided that maybe it was time to design a Druish tradition. I'm sure it would involve lots of magical latkes and eight days of candle magic in December. As long as I could still wear a Yarmulke in a skyclad ritual, I suppose I'd be happy.

It's Official

I am part of a coven. I don't know if I like the word "coven," because it seems to have such awful connotations, thanks to the media. However, despite the word itself, it's wonderful to be part of a group of like-minded people.

Last night we celebrated Samhain together. We started with a dinner to honor our pets, both living and deceased. Then we moved away from the table and began the second part of our ritual. We crafted "wish bottles" which will be opened on Mabon of next year. We each did our own, and then we crafted a group bottle. It was during the crafting of the group bottle that we discussed making it official. It turns out we all sort of all ready thought of ourselves as a coven.

After the issue of "are we or are we not a coven" was put to rest, I led a guided meditation so the rest of the group could visit with their ancestors. I think it turned out quite well. The trick, though, I quickly discovered was knowing when to be silent to give the participants a chance to commune with their ancestors and when to move on.

At first, I wasn't sure how to know, but as I recited the meditation, I tuned in to the group. It was an odd experience for me, as I am normally not so in tune with so many people at one time. During the silences, I found I could tune into people and just know if they were still communing or if their conversations had come to an end.

I have never celebrated Samhain before - alone or in a group. I've wanted to...but just never really did. Last year I did perform a small banishing and blessing ceremony at home, however I wouldn't really call that celebrating. It was more of a brief acknowledgment that yes, it's Samhain and the Wheel has turned yet again.

Before closing the circle last night, we decided to meet each month for the full moon. I'm glad we picked the full moon...it's the one phase of the moon that I've always had a great affinity for.

After choosing the date for our next meeting, J opened the wards, and all of a sudden I felt vulnerable and unsafe. K stated that she saw a werewolf run past the house, and then I was scared to go out to my car. Thank goodness for C and J, for they walked us out and I felt less scared because of the company.

I arrived home safe and sound and happy...I believe it's going to be a very good year.