Monday, February 6, 2012

Cold as Ice

Often, people turn to me for advice on how to get someone off their back - be it a co-worker, a family member, a vampiric friend. "He constantly irritates me," or "She gossips about me to everyone." They're hoping I can cast some sort of spell or give them some potion that will magically make this person disappear from their life.

This is where KISS comes in (Keep it Simple, Student). In most cases, the simplest solutions are the most effective. And in these sorts of cases, the simple solution I've come to rely on is putting someone on ice.

I've done it to several people throughout the years - from co-workers to frenemies. And it has proven to be effective time and time again. The process "freezes" that person's actions so they don't touch you. How does it work? This easily:

The Icelandic Hold
A picture of the person
Their name written on a piece of paper
One baggie

Take the picture of the person OR their name written on a piece of paper (as always, the picture is more powerful, but if you don't have one, the paper will do), and put it into a baggie. Fill the baggie with water (not too full!), place in the freezer and Voila! No more pain in the ass.

You can craft an incantation to go along with it, you can add stuff to the baggie if you want - whatever you intuitively feel will enhance the spell be sure to add.

As the water freezes to ice, that person's ability to touch you is frozen as well.

Should the time come when you need to dispose of the baggie, there are several ways you can do it. You can simply dump it into the trash on trash day, so it's taken far away from your house. Or you can dispose of the baggie, and dump the ice packet into flowing water (a river) and watch it go far away from you.

As for how long you need to keep them on ice, that's up to you. I've had some people in my freezer for years. Others for months.

It's always better to be safe than sorry... so don't be quick about taking that person out!

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