To Bind from Harm

Thee I bid
Thee I bind
And thee I bend unto my mind

Candle Magic

Candle magic is my preferred method of spellwork. I've had more success with magic when I use candles than with any other type of tools. I'm not quite sure why that is - perhaps because of my Christian background. As candles are used in all sorts of religions for all sorts of purposes, the use of candles as a spiritual tool is not foreign to me.

This week, I discovered a book I bought ages ago stuffed in a box labeled simply "Magic books." That book is Practical Candleburning Rituals: Spells and Rituals for Every Purpose by Raymond Buckland.

Buckland's book outlines several different spells, and each has a Christian method of performance along with a Pagan-method of performance. This appealed to my Christian senses - candle magic for Christians? Why the hell not?

I picked out a spell to perform, and actually ended up choosing the Pagan method of application. The aspect I like best about the spell is that it is not finished in a day. I will have to continue to reignite this spell over a course of time. This appeals to me as the end result is something that would naturally take some time to happen - it's not anything I would expect to happen overnight. In this aspect, it makes sense to me that the spell to cause the end result would also need time and attention.

And you know, maybe that's why candle magic and I get along so well - I understand the energy of candles and I love the ritual of candle work. Candles have always represented magic and spirituality to me. No wonder it works for me.

Yule Incense

When the Black Hat Society came over to my place for a Yule celebration, we made a Yule incense together. I had diligently looked up recipes for Yule, and had a pretty solid recipe (made up of 9 ingredients, as per the Risting Tradition). However, when I opened the choosing of herbs to the members, they all had something different in mind.

I went with it.

Even though I burned the Yule incense we made that day while I decorated my Christmas tree, I felt I needed more. Well, not more as in quantity; more as in a blend that contained exactly what I wanted and thought should be in it. So I made up another one.

Yule Incense

Base: White Oak Bark for luck
Life: Frankincense, for spiritual growth and to represent the birth of Christ
Death: Mistletoe, to banish evil
Birth: Cedar, for money
Repose: Blessed Thistle, a sacred herb and used to call in spiritual help in my home.
Awaken: Cloves, riches
Shield: Rosemary, for protection
Blending: Peppermint, for purification (and the fact that Peppermint pretty much goes with everything).
Focus: Sage, for wishes and focus of intent.

I burned some of the incense on "Mini Yule," a day marked on one of my mailing lists. Did I notice a difference between the BHS incense and my own? I did. It was subtle, but I think the difference didn't lie entirely with the ingredient mix; I think it was borne from the fact that I made it on my own, therefore there it had a different energy and intent.

All for one...

When I found out I was laid off, I realized that I shouldn't be using what little money I have in my bank account go for class when it should instead be going for food and rent and heat. So, I told my instructor that I would probably have to stop going to class, but would rejoin the class as soon as I got another job.

My coven-mates found out that I was laid off and was going to axe Thursday night class, so they huddled together and decided to pay my way until I find a job. I was - and am - touched.

But receiving charity is sort of a hard thing to deal with as well. In some ways, I don't feel worthy. In others, I feel like I am taking advantage. And yet, as my brother and sisters in the Tradition, this is what they feel they need to do for me - for us - so that we will continue to grow together.

I know I should just stop feeling weird and accept the gift of the classes. If the shoe was on the other foot, I know I would do the same for them. However, as the shoe is currently on this foot, it feels as if it doesn't quite fit right. I guess I need to just ignore it and keep on walking...this is just a lesson I have to learn: acceptance.

It turns out acceptance is more difficult that I expected it would be.

Druish

Tonight before class began, one of the owners of the store said she had a funny story about a couple who came in earlier. When the girls asked if they could help the couple find anything, the man said "Yes, we are looking for books on Wick."

"Wick? Are you sure?"

"Yes," replied the man. "Wick."

"Perhaps you mean Wicca? Or maybe witch?"

"No...Wick. My wife, she's Druish and wants a book on Wick."

"That's funny," muttered another customer standing by. "She doesn't look Druish."

We had a good laugh at the couples' expense and decided that maybe it was time to design a Druish tradition. I'm sure it would involve lots of magical latkes and eight days of candle magic in December. As long as I could still wear a Yarmulke in a skyclad ritual, I suppose I'd be happy.

It's Official

I am part of a coven. I don't know if I like the word "coven," because it seems to have such awful connotations, thanks to the media. However, despite the word itself, it's wonderful to be part of a group of like-minded people.

Last night we celebrated Samhain together. We started with a dinner to honor our pets, both living and deceased. Then we moved away from the table and began the second part of our ritual. We crafted "wish bottles" which will be opened on Mabon of next year. We each did our own, and then we crafted a group bottle. It was during the crafting of the group bottle that we discussed making it official. It turns out we all sort of all ready thought of ourselves as a coven.

After the issue of "are we or are we not a coven" was put to rest, I led a guided meditation so the rest of the group could visit with their ancestors. I think it turned out quite well. The trick, though, I quickly discovered was knowing when to be silent to give the participants a chance to commune with their ancestors and when to move on.

At first, I wasn't sure how to know, but as I recited the meditation, I tuned in to the group. It was an odd experience for me, as I am normally not so in tune with so many people at one time. During the silences, I found I could tune into people and just know if they were still communing or if their conversations had come to an end.

I have never celebrated Samhain before - alone or in a group. I've wanted to...but just never really did. Last year I did perform a small banishing and blessing ceremony at home, however I wouldn't really call that celebrating. It was more of a brief acknowledgment that yes, it's Samhain and the Wheel has turned yet again.

Before closing the circle last night, we decided to meet each month for the full moon. I'm glad we picked the full moon...it's the one phase of the moon that I've always had a great affinity for.

After choosing the date for our next meeting, J opened the wards, and all of a sudden I felt vulnerable and unsafe. K stated that she saw a werewolf run past the house, and then I was scared to go out to my car. Thank goodness for C and J, for they walked us out and I felt less scared because of the company.

I arrived home safe and sound and happy...I believe it's going to be a very good year.

Left Out

Right now, our Thursday night class has one instructor and seven classmates. The instructor and two of our classmates are in a coven together. They often talk about some of the things they've done together, never seeming to be aware that the rest of us might feel left out.

At this week's class, J stated that five of us met to celebrate the full moon. One classmate was visibly upset, and stated she felt left out. JurNee said it wasn't meant to be exclusionary; that they were part of a coven and we fully expected that as such, they would have celebrated the full moon together. It turns out (supposedly) that they haven't met in ages.

After class, a few of us discussed whether or not we should invite them to the next ritual. J immediately said that he didn't think so; that he really liked our energy as a whole, and felt that the new mix would change that. Unfortunately, I wasn't there to put in my two cents worth of drivel, however it does appear that we will continue to meet as five for now, as it's not our fault that their coven isn't meeting regularly.

Additionally, our instructor stated at the onset that one of the main functions of class was to practice magic with others, in hopes that we would form our own covens. So, if that was one of the main objectives, then why are they miffed that they weren't included in our works? After all, we've never been invited to be part of theirs. We're supposed to be okay with that... and I think we are. Funny, though, how us "lesser" witches are then supposed to be sure to include everyone in class in our own rituals.

It's weird how high school dynamics invade our life, even at this stage in our walk.